“It’s better in the Bahamas,
Romance all the day
All the hideaways, All the lazy days…”
“It’s Better in the Bahamas” jingle
Well, I don’t know all about that. I’ll give the Bahamas jingle the benefit of the doubt, though. It’s not like Kelly Marie and I spent a great amount of time there. Only a few hours, to be exact. So, it could very well be true. But, I doubt it.
We did get off the boat, though. That’s gotta count for somthing. I mean, we could’ve slept the whole day (like I wanted). But, we explored probably a good square foot of Nassau, not really leaving sight of the boat. Like good tourist should. Look. I’ve seen the movies like The Ruins and Turistas. You just don’t go wandering too far off in foreign lands. Unless you’re looking to have some of your organs removed from your person.
And all that sight seeing, my friends, was enough for your friendly neighborhood jman to pass his mighty judgment upon the island.
We ended up shopping, like good tourist should. For whatever reason, Nassau is known for it’s jewelry stores. Why they couldn’t be known for it’s electronic/gadget stores, is beyond me. Look, there’s only so many jewelry stores you can go into. Not electronic stores, though. A body can shop those all day and all night.
The other thing Nassau has a lot of? Toursity type…well, crap. Now don’t get me wrong. Not all of it was crap. Some of it was finely crafted works of art. I actually watched a few folks carve some very impressive statues.
The rest of it, though? Crap.
One of the first places Kelly Marie and I went was the Straw Market. Man! You wanna talk about a hard sell! Here’s a tip for you. If you go into the Straw Market, or any place like it, keep moving forward and keep your eyes focused on the ground. Unless you’re planning to buy something. Otherwise? You make a picosecond’s worth of eye contact with any of the merchandise, or the stand’s owner? You might as well hand your monies over.
Now, look. I’m not making fun of the people or anything. I know this place is their livelihood and all. I’m just saying…stay on the boat.
After making it out of the straw market, Kelly Marie and I wandered the rest of Bay Street. And that’s where I found the crap that makes the shops on the boardwalk at the Jersey shore look like they sell products with the Versace label.
There was this sign. I kinda agree with the sentiment, actually.
And this sign:
And this offensive little doll.
I really wanted Kelly Marie to get these shoes. She demurred though. She said she had already inquired with the shop’s owner when she was on the boat. But, they didn’t have her size. And she didn’t want to disappoint me. She’s so sweet that way.
On the way back to the boat, I got catcalled from these “certified” hair braiders. Enticing me with offers to braid my hair from their open aired shop. I was almost swayed. I mean, they were “certified”, but in the end? I declined. I mean…how does one get certified to braid hair anyway?!?