I’m going to admit something here that should come as no surprise to anyone. Especially if you know me or have been reading this blog for any length of time. Ok. Deep breath. Here goes: I’m really just a 12 year old. Yeayeayea. Chronologically, I’ve been circling our yellow sun for 42 years or so. But on the inside? 12. It’s sorta of a Freaky Friday thing. Only, I don’t know who’s body the 40 year old me is located.
I guess psychologically that means I probably just never grew up. Either that, or, I’m regressing. Whichever. Tomato. Tomato. We should just call the whole thing off.
The point to admitting I’m really 12 years old wasn’t to free my soul from the chains of societal pressures. Nah. I’m just a coppertop like the rest of y’all. The point (and here’s where we come full circle) has to do with “souvenirs”. I love “souvenirs”. I put the word “souvenirs” in “quotes” because the other thing y’all should know about me by now is that when I say “souvenirs”, I really mean toys (and such).
So, when Kelly Marie told me that we were going to Disney World as part as our lil vacation, I warned her ahead of time. I warned her that I was probably going to be spending some money. All in the name of the blog, of course. For real. Thank god I have this blog. It totally justifies all these “expenditures” (now, if I could find a way to “write this shit off”, I’d be golden). When I informed her of this, Kelly Marie only rolled her eyes. She tends to do that to me a lot, besides.
As I know you’ll recall from part 6 of Disney World ain’t for Kids, everywhere you turn, literally EVERY. WHICH. DIRECTION. there’s something to buy. Most of which Kelly Marie liked to point out (often, in fact), Mickey Mouse is just about on all of it. Which, as sarcastic she may have been, she’s got a great point. The mouse is on EVERYTHING.
Now as much as I love “souvenirs”, most of this Mickey stuff just isn’t for me. Especially this stuff with the year on it. Wearing anything with a date on it just reminds me of…I don’t know what. Reminds me how dated everything gets. Actually what it does remind me of, is a line from the song “Heat of the Moment” by Asia (yeayeayea. Go ahead. Asia?!?!?) that goes: And now you find yourself in ’82. The disco hot spots hold no charm for you. I hear that song on the radio from time to time. And I bet back in 82, when Geoffrey Downes and John Kenneth Wetton wrote the song, they thought they were being soooo clever. Or, at the very least, they thought they were being poignant. They weren’t thinking an ounce how that would sound in 2013, 30 odd years later. Which, is to say, dated.
I’m old school. I grew up in the 70s. Therefore, it’s pretty much my societal obligation to love the Muppets. And I admit to liking the Muppets a lot. And pretty happy that Disney has become the custodian of the property in Jim Henson’s passing. But, there isn’t one character that I can really identify with (besides maybe Beaker. And Fozzie). Still, this IS the Muppets were talking.
If there’s one thing I do love (besides sleep, air conditioning, my ipad, my iphone, my macbook air, soft pretzels, Kelly Marie (awwww…that’s gotta score me some sweet points), rice krispy treats, frenched fries and toys) it’s Star Wars (not those god awful prequels, though. No. No thank you). So you’d think that this combo is right up my alley, amiright?!?! Bet you’re thinking that I got all the figures, amiright?!?!? Well, I regret to inform you, that it is not the case. At all. I didn’t get a one of them. No shit! Not a one.
They also have the Disney characters mashed up as the Star Wars characters, too. Again, this should be a no brainer for your friendly neighborhood jman. But, again, I was pretty “meh” about the whole thing. I totally felt obligated to buy them, too. Almost remorseful when I left the store without any of them. I was almost afraid a cast member was going to tackle me, grab my wallet, pull me back into the store and drag me over to the registers to make me purchase them.
This is kinda clever. Building your own lightsaber (are you sensing a theme yet?). When I first heard about this a few years ago, I couldn’t wait to do this. I was going to build the coolest, most righteous lightsaber evAH! But, time passes. You get older. And some shit just don’t matter anymore. I didn’t even give this display more than a passing glance. God! Getting old sucks! Brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it? Don’t cry for me Argentina, though. It’ll happen to you, too. If it hasn’t already.
So? What did I end up getting? Believe it or not, not much. I got two T shirts. And two of these vinylmation things. Why did I get them? I’m not even sure. Probably because they were all over the place and I knew they weren’t going to let me leave the Walt Disney World Resort ® without buying something.
I did make one fairly sizable purchase. Although, technically I ordered it over the internets. But, I was still in the Walt Disney World Resort ® when I bought it, so it counts. We’ll talk about my buyer’s remorse next time.