Planet of the Jakes: Rad, Can I have some Soda!?!?

You really gotta appreciate tenacity.  That is, you gotta appreciate it if it’s someone else being tenacious.  Just not your kid.  Especially when your kid is being tenacious about something you don’t want them to have.  Say, like, donuts.  Or cookies.  Or, more specifically…soda.

it is pretty damn refreshin'!
it is pretty damn refreshin’!

Now I know that soda (or “Pop” for my foreign listeners out there) is the nectar of the gods, but my kids, more specifically….Jakob, seem to be completely overwhelmed by it’s charms.  It’s not like it’s  some forbidden treat in my house, either.  It’s not one of those “i’m not allowed to have it, so now i really want it” things.  It’s just not available for consumption during the week.  That’s Monday thru Thursday.  Friday night and Saturday?  Most of the bets are off.  I say most, cause I only buy a couple of liters of soda a week.  And once it’s gone?  It’s gone.

"the party's over, and we're movin' on..."
“the party’s over, and we’re movin’ on…”

All of this is nothing new, btw.  This soda rule isn’t a new decree by any means.  No…this one’s been in place, probably since the beginning of time.  I think that it was one of the 11 – 15 commandments.  I read somewhere that it was on one of the tablets that Moses “dropped” on his way down the mountain.  “Thou shall not drinketh soda during the school week.”

"Nuts to this!  I love soda during the week!"
“Nuts to this! I love soda during the week!”

Still, though, that doesn’t stop Jakob from asking me on an almost daily basis if he can have soda.  I don’t get it.  The answer is always the same.  “Leave me alone!!!  Can’t you just leave me alone?!?!  What did I ever do to you?!?!?”

please!  no more questions!?!?!?
please! no more questions!?!?!?

But, lately?  He’s taken it to a new level.  He got an iPod for his birthday last year.  So, now, he’s discovered the joys of iMessage.  The kid messages me/Facetimes me, all the time.  About what?  Well…whatever is running through his mind at any given moment.  Our Facetime conversations usually go down like this:

“Hey Rad (cause Jakob’s new thing is replacing the first letter in everyone’s name with the letter “R”).

 “What’s up, Rake (cause, why should he have all the fun)?”

“Nothing.”  Staring at me blankly.

 “Ok.  Do you need something?”


 “Ok, Jake.  I gotta go.  I can’t Facetime at work.”  I’ll go to end the call.

 “Hey, Rad.”

 “Yes. Rake?”

 “Can I have Roda (that’s “soda”.  Fyi)?”

 “No. Jake.”


 “Same reason I told you yesterday.  I gotta go now.”

 “Ok. Rad.  Bye.”

And if he isn’t Facetiming me.  He’s texting me:

Funny, ain’t it?!?!  Hahahaha!  I’m laffing all the way to increasing my meds.



Images courtesy of:



Soda bottle:


Don Draper:




3 Replies to “Planet of the Jakes: Rad, Can I have some Soda!?!?”

  1. It’s like reading the texts between my daughter and I…(especially the don’t ask me again)

    1. lol! i hear ya! doesn’t it give you a sense of relief that you’re not the only one?

      you’re still special. just not in the annoying kid dept. 🙂

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