Planet Of The Jakes: Field Trippin’ To The Aquarium Pt 3

If you missed some of the fun, then you can click here for the review…

Before we left Jakob’s school for the aquarium, we were told by the teachers chaperoning the trip NOT to go into the gift shop.  For obvious reasons.  We went in, anyway, not because I’m a rebel or have a problem with authority.  No.  I went in to take pics of all the stupid crap they’re selling there. Otherwise?  You think I’d take four 10 year olds into a gift shop?  Hells no!

come and get it!

come and get it!

Actually, it’s not like you have much of a choice, anyway.  Turns out there’s no real avoiding the gift shop (surprise!). Adventure Aquarium is far more clever than you.  Because, after you make your way through the shark exhibit(s), the path dumps you right into the gift shop.  Straight out of Walt Disney World’s book called Fleecing the Rubes 1.

i don't like the way that thing was looking at me.

i didn’t like the way that thing was looking at me.

And just like every other gift shop you’ve ever been in, they were hawking stuff from both ends of the spectrum.  Real expensive stuff no one ever buys. And some real crap that you have to buy if you love your kids 2 that ends up in the trash 5 minutes after you leave the aquarium.

this crap wouldn't even make it to your car.

this crap wouldn’t even make it to your car.

I managed to make it out of the gift shop with my sanity intact. It ain’t easy taking these pics and keeping taps on 10 year old boys intent on wreaking havoc on the world (or in this case, the gift shop).  I took a quick peek at my phone to see what time it was.  We’d been at the aquarium 20 minutes.  And we were done.  We ran through the whole aquarium.  20 FLIPPIN MINUTES!!!

i don't know.

i don’t know.

Needless to say, we had a little time to kill before lunch.  So…I made those lil turds kids walk the aquarium again.  And this is what we saw the second time around:

where's my net?

where’s my net?

Those are jelly fish

So are those.

that's a lot of poop!

that’s a lot of poop!

This sign.  This sign cracks me up.  Every time I go to the aquarium, I take a picture of this sign.  No lie.

the fuck you lookin at?!?!?

the fuck you lookin at?!?!?

Funny thing was, not far from that sign, this bird was keeping watch.  Tell you what, if I didn’t like the way those baby seals were looking at me, I totally was uncomfortable with the stankeye the bird had directed in my general direction.

just goes to show that god does have a sense of humor.

just goes to show that god does have a sense of humor.

That some weird ass aquatic lifeform.  The big guy upstairs must’ve been hitting the pipe on the day he created that thing

just kept pumping that crap on my hands. who knows what kind of germs those fish have!

just kept pumping that crap on my hands. who knows what kind of germs those fish have!

The aquarium sure had their bases covered with this stuff.  There were Purell Hand sanitizing station every few feet. Makes you wonder, don’t it?  Makes you wonder what all that two finger fish pettin’ leaves on your hands.  Protip:  don’t lick your fingers after the fish pettin’

Those are a gaggle of dopes.  The aquarium should consider putting them in an exhibit.

field trippin'!!!

field trippin’!!!

All in all, it was a pretty successful field trip.  No limbs were lost, no fires were set, and I got out of work for the day.  It was a real win-win!

 

 

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  1. Not a real book. Although it should be
  2. Want to shut them up for 5 seconds

2 thoughts on “Planet Of The Jakes: Field Trippin’ To The Aquarium Pt 3

  1. Haha, love that sign! The jellyfish look awesome. I am taking my preschool kids on a field trip to our local aquarium in a couple weeks, so I guess this is what I have to look forward to… except with 3 and 4 year olds instead of 10 year olds, lol!

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