Do Me A Solid, Don’t…Buy Nerf Vortex Guns!
In the Fadderly household, we take our Nerfing seriously. Very seriously. It’s cut throat and ugly. Between Nerf, Super Soakers and water balloons we’ve had several battles, crossing multi families, that have lasted several days minutes. Ask Kelly Marie, who’s known for using her children as human shields.
So…when you see this face coming, you should be scared.
We’ve got a pretty decent arsenal going. And by “we”, “we” all know I mean “your friendly neighborhood jman”. Suresuresure, the kids have their own weapons and all. But, they don’t take care of theirs. They misplace them, lose pieces, lose bullets, etc. Which leaves them woefully unprepared for battle. And crying like little girls until I let them raid my stockpile. Kids!
Recently, Nerf introduced a new line of welt inducing weapons called Vortex. Instead of firing darts, these guns fire discs. That hurt.
I wasn’t all that crazy about the new guns at first. Discs? For real? Meh. But, after Jethro got one for his birthday, I knew these things were the real deal.
These guns are so great, Popular Science even wrote about them.
Which brings me to the “tale” part of our tale. A few days ago, I came downstairs to find Jethro and his associates taking turns shooting each other in the “nuts”, with Jakob recording the whole episode on his iPod.
One kid would sit on the chair, legs akimbo, while the other one would fire the projectiles at him from across the room. Why? I have no idea. Before, you’d have to warn kids about doing the stupid stunts they showed on MTV’s Jackass. Now? Don’t let your boys grow up to be cowboys watch Youtube!
Of course, when I saw this scene, I screamed them stupid. God! Boys are so dumb. Unbelievably, really. I’m kinda surprised they don’t take turn sticking a wet fork into an electrical outlet.
I yelled until one of the discs hit Jethro square in the jewels. And then I began to cry. I was laughing so hard, that tears were running out of my eyes. I’d love to show you the video, but…I don’t know. It’s the internets and all. How bout you enjoy this video, instead?
Okokokok. Maybe that sucked. How’s about I do this instead. How’s about I give one of these sumbitches away? Would that make things better?
The above pictured gun is the one you’re getting. It’s a brand new weapon, folks. Right from the Fadderly collection and autographed by yours truly (for extra devalue-ment). No foolin, here. This weapon has seen war! There’s no box included, but I do have the instructions, if you actually read that shit. You’ll also get the discs, too. Cause, what fun would that be without them?
All’s you gotta do to enter is “like” my facebook page through the Rafflecopter widget above. Just click the “do it” button. Or, if you’ve already liked my FB page, you can also leave a comment (by clicking the other “do it” button in the said Rafflecopter widget above) saying how much you love me. Easy enough, right? Good luck, then!
You can see more of the pics over on my Flickr.