The Short Pack: Black Widow

The Short Pack: Black Widow

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Ahhhh…the short packed figure.  The one figure (nine times out of 10, usually the female figure) in any toy line that drives the collector crazy to the core.  Or, shall we say, drives him/her to his/her local toy store(s) on a very regular basis.

Today’s short packed figure?  Black Widow from Marvel’s 3.75 inch Avengers line.

Your friendly neighborhood jman picked up Black Widow at Target a few weeks ago.  Totally by chance, I’ll have you know.  My days of searching for a figure are long over.  Now, that doesn’t mean I won’t look in the toy aisle when I go to the store, but I don’t go out of my way anymore.  I swear!

Of course the production shots ALWAYS look better than the actual figure. Stupid production shots.

If I’m lyin, then I’m dyin!

And I say that even after I saw a few places selling her for over 40 bucks!  Yes.  That’s right.  You read that right.  Over 40 dollars!  That’s ri-goddamn-diculous.  But, I digress…

what are you looking at? for real. what are you looking at?

I’m not afraid to open my figures, even the short packed ones.  So, in the name of all that is good and holy (mostly this post), I promptly separated plastic from cardboard with an audible “devalue”.  The question for the ages, though, is whether she’s worth buying if she wasn’t short packed.  Amiright?!?!?

i dare you to take one more picture like that, perv…

Well, to begin with, I can’t say I’m a big fan of smaller action figures (get it?  get it? big fan of smaller action figures?!?!?  whatever.).  This is the new millennium, for mercy’s sake!  Everything’s bigger/better.  Why do we have our action figures so small still? And I am totally NOT trying to compensate for anything by asking that question, either.

flimsy? say it to my face, you sonuvabitch!

Black Widow’s pretty articulate for being a 3.75 inch figure, but…so what?  On the flip side of that, she’s flimsy as hell. I will give Hasbro this, though.  They managed to cram in a shit load of detail on her.

c’mon! what a waste!

She also comes with this “grapple launcher”, that is, quite literally, as big as her.  In all honesty, it’s just a stupid accessory and if I wasn’t such a completeist, I’d throw it in the trash.  Instead, I’ll put it in a baggie and toss it in the Rubbermaid container with all the other useless accessories for my kids to throw out when they finally decide to put me in the “retirement” home.  It’s like the Island of Misfit Toys (the Rubbermaid container, not the retirement home).  The Container of Useless Accessories.  I should patent that, before someone else gets the bright idear.

“when Christmas day is here, the most wonderful, wonderful day of the year!”

Instead of the grappler, I’d rather have a stand.  Because I’m not shitting you when I say she’s flimsy.

you know you want all 40 bucks of me!

I hear ya.  I hear ya.  You wanna know is she worth picking up?  Well, why don’t you see for yourself?  How?  By entering this contest!


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Image courtesy of:
Island of misfit toys: